The LEWTON BUS Live Oscar Chat

We're pretty sure we have the right envelope.

Last night, the Lewton Bus crew sat down for a roundtable discussion during the 2017 Academy Awards. Reading this, you’ll feel like you’re really there. And by “there” I mean “sitting on your butt in front of a computer.”

 

Allen Strickland: Well the red carpet festivities are underway and the schmoozing is now in full force

Taraji P. Henson

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’m not here for good but I just want to say got dam was Taraji beautiful. I don’t know what to do with myself now

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Like, I dgaf about the awards or anything, but I care about beautiful dresses, and she was a goddess

Allen Strickland: Hey we need someone for dress commentary because I’ve got nothing there.

Allen Strickland: Justin Timberlake is a treasure

Wesley Allsup: Ruth Negga and Dakota Johnson winning dresses for me so far

Allen Strickland: That being said he has no real chance at best song tonight. Anyone disagree?

Wesley Allsup: Leslie Mann too

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Hailee Steinfeld and Ava Duvernay are also standouts

Wesley Allsup: It’s a bit mean but Janelle Monáe’s dress looks like it was made by accident

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Riz Ahmed looking cute

Wesley Allsup: yeah Ava’s was nice

Wesley Allsup: Andrew Garfield & Andre Holland look pretty slick too

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Did you all see the Moonlight trio? Heavenly

Adam Bumas: Only thing I’ve seen so far I wanna comment on is the current Schuyler Sisters performing “How Far I’ll Go”, over satellite, just for LMM

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Apparently LMM got his tux from the same place in Yonkers he got his prom outfit

Allen Strickland: Diversity seems to be the primary topic of discussion on the red carpet tonight. Rightfully so after the events of #oscarssowhite last year.

 

Allen Strickland: Here’s your hourly public service announcement that Emma Stone is a stunningly beautiful and talented human being

Wesley Allsup: That’s the kind of dress you wear when you think ‘hmm, I’m probably going to win the Oscar’

Allen Strickland: A tough reminder just now that we lost the incomparable Bill Paxton today.

Andrew Clark: YO FRIENDS

Andrew Clark: Little tipsy

Allen Strickland: Well this will be an adventure.

Andrew Clark: Heeheeheehee

Andrew Clark: Emma Stone for best dress

Andrew Clark: Inexplicably, because that is a very light dress for her skin tone

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Brie Larson in black velvet is a+

Andrew Clark: Haven’t seen her yet

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Viola Davis’ dress is also in-credible

Allen Strickland: Greatest tidbit from the interviews so far: Ryan Gosling’s piano proficieny only extends to the pieces from the film. As a former music student this speaks to me.

Andrew Clark: Emma. So graceful

Ryan Gosling in his fancy shirt.

Wesley Allsup: Ryan Gosling has an extra fancy shirt, I kinda want to buy one

Allen Strickland: Emma Stone is #americassweetheart

Andrew Clark: My friend David: “Let’s be real. Swiss Army Man wasn’t nominated for anything, so is any 2017 Oscar actually legitimate?”

Allen Strickland: An excellent question Andrew. I know I have it as my second favorite film of the year. Radcliffe’s performance is easily the best of his career.

Wesley Allsup: Not only does Brie Larson look amazing (as if she couldn’t) I’d love to know how that dress was made

Emmett Walsh: Late to the party but Emma Stone is very on brand with that Veronica Lake look.

Wesley Allsup: How do they keep the wavy look?

Adam Bumas: It’s more a work of architecture than fashion, I believe

Allen Strickland: Since Andrew brought it up I’ll poll the group. What’s your biggest snub from the nominations?

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Silence obviously, Arrival and The Handmaiden are also up there

Adam Bumas: Between Silence for BP and Amy Adams for Best Lead… Actually, I forgot about John Goodman from Cloverfield Lane, put me down for that

Allen Strickland: I think the premise carries Arrival more than the performance but a decent point

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Though Handmaiden didn’t have a chance because South Korea didn’t submit it, as they didn’t want to be represented internationally by a lesbian movie

Wesley Allsup: Amy Adams is one of the biggest snubs, Silence too

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’d also say Issei Ogata should have got a supporting role nomination and Patrick Stewart for Green Room. That’s going to be one of his all time performances, and Tadanobu Asano also deserved a nomination for Silence.

Wesley Allsup: at least 3 Japanese actors in Silence could easily deserve best supporting actor

Adam Bumas: Was Issei Ogata the Inquisitor?

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Yep

Allen Strickland: I think Silence’s problem is that practically no one saw it, It never had a matinee showing near me.

Emmett Walsh: A girl I used to work with’s aunt was Lin’s date, maybe, if her Facebook post was anything to go by

Wesley Allsup: its release was a total f@#$ up

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’d also say Rima from Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Anya Taylor-Joy for The Witch, and Gosling for The Nice Guys, I’ve got a whole parallel list

Adam Bumas: I wouldn’t mind Silence getting a Best Hair And Makeup, if only for Garfield having my literal dream hair

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Beyoncé also deserves a special oscar, for just generally best person on the planet with the most earthshaking work of art in decades.

Allen Strickland: Damien Chazelle rocking a DOPE blue tux

Emmett Walsh: Blue tuxes are always dope

Adam Bumas: I’m happy with any non-traditional menswear, tuxes are a masterpiece of engineering and simplicity, but I appreciate variety

Wesley Allsup: I dont like Mahershala Ali’s black on black tux, I’ve never understood that style

Emmett Walsh: Damian Chazelle looks like Ezra Miller cosplaying Anton Yelchin

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: One of the first signs for me that I wasn’t a man was the fact that I hated wearing all men’s fashion, men’s fashion is so often so boring

Wesley Allsup: John Legend’s Tux also looks weird, I think it’s a deliberate variation but it looks like a mistake

Allen Strickland: I love wearing suits

Adam Bumas: It’s boring if you let it be, AFR

Wesley Allsup: Dev Patel looks great

Andrew Clark: I love a good tux. I preferred Goslings’ Bogart look at the globes

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: It’s also boring if you’re a woman and people keep telling you to wear it

Adam Bumas: True. My grandmother was a fashion scholar specializing in menswear throughout history, so it’s always had a depth to me

Allen Strickland: Gotta rock the tie shirt color combos to make a suit pop

Wesley Allsup: I spend far too much time thinking about men’s fashion so it isn’t boring to me either, but it often is more subtle and conservative than women’s clothing

Wesley Allsup: unless you’re an American and you’re wearing silly hats and oversized hockey jerseys and such

Adam Bumas: And there’s so much less you’re allowed to do

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’ll take all yalls words on this stuff, I like the way suits look on some men, but it’s just not my scene

Allen Strickland: My go to look is navy suit, teal shirt, purple tie. It POPS.

Wesley Allsup: I haven’t worn a suit to work for months

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Looks like a predatory 70s action hero

Allen Strickland: Dwayne Johnson in blue velvet

Wesley Allsup: Charlize Theron arrived too apparently, haven’t seen her yet though. I’m guessing Evan Rachel Wood won’t be at the Oscars? Which is a shame cos she made a big statement at Golden Globes

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Charlize is always perfect. She can’t not kill a look.

Kevin Kuhlman: A) Mel shaved his crazy colonel beard

Allen Strickland: Gibson knows that he should be in “happy to be here mode”. Seems keenly aware that he’s not a serious contender.

Kevin Kuhlman: Emma Stone looks super nervous and awkward

Allen Strickland: Her obvious excitement is adorable

Andrew Clark: Haha, so I’ve been watching E! Now to ABC

Allen Strickland: SHOW TIME FOLKS

Andrew Clark: Four minute commercial break

Kevin Kuhlman: Let’s get this over with

Andrew Clark: Hahahaha

Kevin Kuhlman: Once La La Land wins Best Picture everything good in the world immediately disappears

Arzner’s Fishing Rod: It’s here I’ll be stepping out, as post red carpet I don’t have anything to say

Kevin Kuhlman: All dogs will cease to exist

Allen Strickland: The seas will dry

Wesley Allsup: on the UK one they were talking about a post that described La La Land winning as a ‘disaster for the Academy’

Kevin Kuhlman: Wesley, there have been at least 15 of those takes just this weekend alone

Andrew Clark: I’m so over the anti-La La Land narrative, it’s facile, reductive, and stupid

Wesley Allsup: Honestly, I would be happy for Moonlight to win, but I’m kinda rooting for Damien Chazelle

Bee McGee: Hey has Denzel won best actor yet

Allen Strickland: Not yet

Bee McGee: Okay

Kevin Kuhlman: Hot Take: both Moonlight and La La Land are great films that both deserve recognition

Bee McGee: *CONTEXT: Walrus is seeing Twenty One Pilots in concert and cannot watch the Oscars tonight*

Andrew Clark: I posted a big thing about it on FB. How both are great. Someone I went to school with me dropped the old “LLL is about a white guy saving jazz and that’s racist” bit

Allen Strickland: AND JT IS OPENING THE SHOW FOLKS

Kevin Kuhlman: Awkward white people dancing in the Crowd FTW

Allen Strickland: Girl in the red can MOVE

Kevin Kuhlman: You know what I always wanted? A zoom in on Jeff Bridges during a pop music opener

Kevin Kuhlman: Janelle Monae was feeling it

Bee McGee: Janelle = GAWDESS

Wesley Allsup: ah you guys are about 7 seconds ahead of me

Wesley Allsup: damn streaming

Emmett Walsh: s@#t, I think I just found out a girl I used to work with is LMM’s cousin

Bee McGee: HOLY %*#=

Emmett Walsh: And to think she had a go at me for playing my famous cousin close to the chest…

Bee McGee: *CONTEXT: Allen made a list of no-no words and is making us obey his tyrannical wishes*

Allen Strickland: Ummm, who’s your cousin Emmett?

Kevin Kuhlman: you can’t just drop “famous cousin” and not expect a follow up

Emmett Walsh: Colin Jost

Kevin Kuhlman: Nice

Allen Strickland: Now define cousin. Do you see him at family get-togethers?

Andrew Clark: JACKIE

Andrew Clark: JACKIE CHAN

Emmett Walsh: Yes, though I’m closer with his brother. We’ve always been friendly but never emotionally close.

Bee McGee: Emmett, your SNL obsession just got put in a new light knowing your cousin is a cast member

Allen Strickland: While he may have no chance whatsoever of winning Justin Timberlake put on one hell of a show just now. Man understands showmanship.

Kevin Kuhlman: Timberlake deserved a nomination for Social Network

Bee McGee: I still need to watch that JT concert film Jonathan Demme directed

Emmett Walsh: But yeah, f@#$ing unreal that I worked with LMM’s cousin

Bee McGee: Emmett

Bee McGee: You just said one of Allen’s no-no words

Kevin Kuhlman: MATT DAMON v KIMMEL. YES. THIS IS WHAT I’M WATCHING FOR

Emmett Walsh: Unreal?

Bee McGee: You know that this means the Winterman won’t be visiting your Chrimbus Bush this year

Adam Bumas: What’s he been in this year besides THE BOURNE TRAVESTY?

Bee McGee: THE GREAT WALL

Bee McGee: I think he’s just there for the Kimmel thing

Kevin Kuhlman: Kimmel is crushing this monologue

Bee McGee: How does he compare to Chris Rock last year?

Allen Strickland: Kimmel is already coming out with one of what are sure to be many shots across the bough of the Trump Presidency

Kevin Kuhlman: I didn’t watch much last year

Bee McGee: Rock did a pretty solid opening monologue about racism last year

Kevin Kuhlman: Hahahha

Bee McGee: Glad to see that Kimmel’s doing alright

Kevin Kuhlman: He just made a hand job joke

Kevin Kuhlman: That literally nobody laughed at because they didn’t see Moonlight

Adam Bumas: I laughed at it

Kevin Kuhlman: I did too

Adam Bumas: My friend did a classic gasp take

Emmett Walsh: Man, poor Bruce Vilanch, locked up in that closet

Kevin Kuhlman: I would have spit my drink out if I had been drinking

Emmett Walsh: Someone’s going to have to let him out

Have you seen this man?

Andrew Clark: CHRIS EVANS? NEXT TO SCARJO

Allen Strickland: Fun fact about Jimmy Kimmel, he got his start as a regular caller on an LA morning talk show.

Kevin Kuhlman: Jimmy Kimmel went to ASU. REPRESENT

Bee McGee: I know that Kimmel was on Win Ben Stein’s Money back in the day

Adam Bumas: Wow, look at Halle Berry

Adam Bumas: Is that Frank Langella in the back?  I think Frank Langella was first for the Standing O

Bee McGee: Maybe he’s trying to get a late Oscar for Masters of the Universe

Allen Strickland: Kimmel came out firing and brought his A material for that monologue. Topical, surgical, and hilarious.

Adam Bumas: Agreed, he’s meaner than normal

Kevin Kuhlman: Kimmel is an underrated late night host

Kevin Kuhlman: Last year I quit watching after this award, because STALLONE DESERVED IT

Andrew Clark: MICHAEL SHANNON HAIL MARY

Allen Strickland: So Maharshalla Ali is obviously the front runner, anyone have another performance they’re crazy about for supporting actor?

Bee McGee: Nah

Wesley Allsup: hahaha same Kevin. I was so upset about Sly not winning

Kevin Kuhlman: Dev Patel wouldn’t be a bad pick

Bee McGee: It’s gotta be Mahershala

Kevin Kuhlman: But it’s gonna be Mahershala

Bee McGee: If it doesn’t there will be rioting

Adam Bumas: I’m not unhappy with any of these performances, but I’d be shocked if it wasn’t Ali

Kevin Kuhlman: MAHERSHALA

Adam Bumas: Theeeere we go

Allen Strickland: Mahershala Ali wins as expected. Thoughts on his performance?

Bee McGee: Now all we need is for Viola and Denzel to win

Kevin Kuhlman: Mahershala is only in Moonlight for about 20 minutes, but his presence lingers throughout the whole film. It’s a stunning performance

Andrew Clark: Yo, the Oscars ALWAYS play Hairspray, It always makes me laugh

Andrew Clark: Ali’s work in Moonlight is great. A well deserved win.

Allen Strickland: Kimmel is going all in on the topical jokes tonight. Just told CNN and the New York Times that fake news isn’t welcome.

Allen Strickland: OK guys it’s time for the category that nominated Suicide Squad, best makeup!

Kevin Kuhlman: SUICIDE SQUAD WINS

Allen Strickland: HOLY CRAP

Kevin Kuhlman: wow

Adam Bumas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Bee McGee: OSCAR WINNING SUICIDE SQUAD

Kevin Kuhlman: BEYOND WAS ROBBED

Bee McGee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kevin Kuhlman: The guy who wrote “Damaged” on Jared Leto’s head won an Oscar

Wesley Allsup: Hahahaha

Andrew Clark: Oh my god

Adam Bumas: The Academy cut us all down in one stroke just like mowin’ the lawn!

Andrew Clark: “ACADEMY AWARD WINNER SUICIDE SQUAD”

Galena: The shame! 😂

Allen Strickland: For those reading this after the fact hopefully we’ll regather our thoughts soon.

Andrew Clark: This is hilarious

Allen Strickland: Kate McKinnon is killing it as a presenter tonight.

Allen Strickland: Okay, Costume design, this has gotta be Jackie right?

Andrew Clark: JACKIE Chan?

Kevin Kuhlman: Fantastic Beasts

Kevin Kuhlman: Wow

Adam Bumas: Wow, Beastastic pulled it off!

Kevin Kuhlman: Two baffling upsets

Andrew Clark: No, never FB

Adam Bumas: Not too baffling, the costumes were exquisite whatever you think of the movie

Allen Strickland: This feels like the Academy trying to be hip and relevant, anyone else think so?

Andrew Clark: FB has actively boring costumes

Adam Bumas: Even Colin Farrell’s terrible terrible character was dressed excellently

Andrew Clark: The costumes WORK at being boring

Adam Bumas: I gotta disagree there, Andrew

Andrew Clark: Did you see those clips just now? Everything looks the same

Adam Bumas: Which movie did you watch? There was a lot going on sartorially

Allen Strickland: Best Supporting actress is coming up soon, what’s everyone’s take on this? Gotta be Viola Davis right?

Bee McGee: Totally Davis

Adam Bumas: Well I’m not sure about anything anymore

Kevin Kuhlman: I found everything about Fantastic Beasts to be bland, uninteresting, and mediocre, so that’s just me

Kevin Kuhlman: Viola is a lock

Adam Bumas: Did people just see pictures of Suicide Squad?

Galena: It’ll probably go to Davis, but if not I hope Naomie Harris gets it

Andrew Clark: So my streaming is ten seconds behind or something so I will be in and out so I’m not spoiled

Wesley Allsup: same as above, but more like 30 seconds

Kevin Kuhlman: Viola got robbed a few years ago, so she’s in line to win this year. The one thing the Oscars are usually good at is rewarding an actor/actress in hindsight

Galena: I’m about 30 seconds to a minute behind some of you

Adam Bumas: Serviceable Ben Carson joke

Wesley Allsup: Its Jimmy Kimmel, he’s nothing special

Allen Strickland: Best Documentary Feature is up and we’re about to see the culmination of “The Year We Came Back Around To The OJ Story”

Adam Bumas: I liked his early stuff

Kevin Kuhlman: I wanna give a standing ovation from my couch right now

Allen Strickland: Katherine Johnson the basis of the film Hidden Figures is now on stage to help present Best documentary feature

CJ Robinson: What did I miss

Allen Strickland: Academy Award Winning Film Suicide Squad

Kevin Kuhlman: O.J.: Made in America wins

Allen Strickland: And with that victory ESPN now has secured its first Oscar. This also marks the first time ESPN has ever been thanked on stage at the Oscars. Ezra Edelman dedicated his victory to Nicole Brown Simpson as well as victims of police brutality.

Allen Strickland: Kimmel just made an OJ Simpson joke that made even Mel Gibson cringe.

Emmett Walsh: Man, mediocre applause for “police brutality is bad!”

Kevin Kuhlman: Dwayne Johnson intro-ing “How Far I’ll Go”

CJ Robinson: Suicide Squad won?……..

Allen Strickland: With a prologue by Lin Manuel Miranda

Kevin Kuhlman: Lin Manuel Miranda rapping the prologue

Adam Bumas: Yep, clever device, knew he would make it in somehow. I think the song has a fair chance at winning

Kevin Kuhlman: If the two La La Land songs split the vote, it could definitely win

Kevin Kuhlman: Auli’i Cravahlo is killing this song right now

Allen Strickland: The EGOT narrative could very well push it over the top but I don’t think it’s quite as good as the La La Land nominees.

Adam Bumas: That obviously doesn’t matter

Wesley Allsup: Moana is a better musical than La La Land #shotsfired

Kevin Kuhlman: She’s only 16. This is an insane amount of gravitas for someone who can barely legally drive

Allen Strickland: Auli’i Cravahlo owned that performance.

Allen Strickland: Wesley I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong you are on that point.

Wesley Allsup: yeah I know, theres just no good argument against it

Kevin Kuhlman: That’s a bad take and you should feel bad

Allen Strickland: While I very much enjoyed Moana it isn’t even the composer’s best musical to come out this year. Let alone the best musical this year. Now if we wanna talk Hamilton vs La La Land, that could be a fun conversation.

Wesley Allsup: History will prove me right

Emmett Walsh: Yeah Moana is very good, but the songs are B/B+ at best

Wesley Allsup: Huh? Hamilton is one of the best pieces of art made in like a decade

Allen Strickland: I agree.

Andrew Clark: Haha, okay, let’s rate these Walmart commercials

Andrew Clark: Poor effort from Fuqua, I say

Allen Strickland: I think La La Land is fairly transcendent as well though. I think each push their respective form to it’s limits.

Wesley Allsup: La La Land doesn’t compare to Hamilton

Wesley Allsup: basically nothing does

Kevin Kuhlman: Hamilton > La La Land. It’s not even a close question

Wesley Allsup: yeah no kidding

Kevin Kuhlman: And I’m on the La La Land should win Best Picture train

Andrew Clark: “They are not Stallone girls” :joy:

Wesley Allsup: Yep me too

Allen Strickland: I’m not saying La La Land is better. Just that La La Land vs Hamilton is a more interesting conversation than La La Land versus Moana.

Galena: “A president who believes in both arts and sciences”

Emmett Walsh: Individually, Moana’s songs are good but they’re not LMM’s best, and they don’t add up to anything in the film

Emmett Walsh: The lack of a powerhouse finale is really telling

Wesley Allsup: Honestly the entire tragic romance of La La Land is captured in like, 2 songs in Hamilton, and there’s everything else on top

Emmett Walsh: How they don’t combine “How Far I’ll Go”, “Where You Are”, and the voyaging theme is bananas.

Adam Bumas: What else do you call “I Am Moana”, man?

Allen Strickland: Beautiful speech by Cheryl Bond Isaac’s

Adam Bumas: I saw Javier Bardem there for a second, glad to see him out and about

Emmett Walsh: “I Am Moana” is good, but ending the film on a reprise of a song we’ve already heard is borderline catastrophic.

Kevin Kuhlman: Sound Editing and Mixing. Let’s see if the La La Land sweep begins here

Allen Strickland: Chris Evans is taking the stage to present the sound awards and once again make me feel generally inadequate as a man.

Kevin Kuhlman: ARRIVAL FTW WOOP WOOP

Wesley Allsup: If it’s any consolation Allen, you’re probably both about as good as each other at directing though

Galena: It’s great to see Arrival acknowledged

Allen Strickland: Arrival was not at the top of my list for Sound Editing so this was a bit of a surprise. I had Hacksaw Ridge here.

Adam Bumas: Yeah, I assumed that was gonna get it

Allen Strickland: Hacksaw is also my pick for mixing

Wesley Allsup: eh, I’m happy for Hacksaw to leave with nothing

Kevin Kuhlman: And you would be right

Kevin Kuhlman: Hacksaw wins Sound Mixing

Allen Strickland: A well deserved win for Hacksaw Ridge. Brilliant use of sound. So far the La La Land wave hasn’t happened. Will be interesting to watch the rest of the way. To be clear I didn’t have them winning any of these awards so far but it isn’t getting the sweep some expected.

Kevin Kuhlman: Yeah, it wasn’t the favorite in any of the categories thus far, so I’m not shocked it hasn’t happened yet

Emmett Walsh: It didn’t have the momentum that mega sweeps like Titanic and ROTK had

Kevin Kuhlman: It also didn’t have the benefit of a weak year like Titanic and ROTK had

Wesley Allsup: https://twitter.com/WomenaHollywood/status/836020544868876288

Kevin Kuhlman: I wonder what the percentage of that is white women v PoC women

Wesley Allsup: Hate to imagine

Allen Strickland: Vince Vaughn is on the stage discussing lifetime achievement awards and looks super uncomfortable.

Adam Bumas: This is really badly delivered schtick from Vince

Allen Strickland: Next up is best supporting actress. Worth noting that three of tonight’s five nominees are women of color. Whether it’s a reaction to last year or not, the diversity of tonight’s nominees absolutely matters.

Kevin Kuhlman: intro’d by Mark Rylance and his weird hat

Wesley Allsup: AKA the man who stole the Oscar from Sly

Emmett Walsh: Hard pass on that hat, and on Mark Rylance in general

Wesley Allsup: good chat by Rylance though

Adam Bumas: Come on, Weez, Sly shoulda won but Rylance was amazing in Bridge of Spies, The two things can be true

Wesley Allsup: He was great in Bridge of Spies and he seems like a great guy but he’s also the monster who stole the Oscar from Sly

Emmett Walsh: He was fine in Bridge of Spies

Emmett Walsh: He’s a great internal actor who goes internal 100% of the time

Allen Strickland: Not a great clip to introduce Michelle Williams

Kevin Kuhlman: Michelle Williams was snubbed for CERTAIN WOMEN

Adam Bumas: What else can they use?

Kevin Kuhlman: Viola wins

Allen Strickland: Viola Davis wins #asexpected. She’s had a pretty fantastic run over the last few years.

Kevin Kuhlman: Also, that clip from Lion for Kidman was during a scene where our protagonist accuses his adoptive mother of only wanting him because she’s barren, which is f-d up to a supreme degree

Allen Strickland: Viola Davis has everyone crying with this speech.

CJ Robinson: Which movie was this for? I missed it

Kevin Kuhlman: Fences

Allen Strickland: She just oozes gravitas.

Kevin Kuhlman: Ain’t nobody playing her off

Allen Strickland: I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

CJ Robinson: I’m starting to tear up a little, not gonna lie

Adam Bumas: What a speech

Kevin Kuhlman: She’s sitting next to Emma Stone! CONSPIRACY EMMA IS GOING TO WIN

CJ Robinson: Can we give her an Oscar for best speech?

Kevin Kuhlman: Also, is anything less exciting than “a performance by Sting” in 2017

Wesley Allsup: Bojack got a Golden Globe for best book

Allen Strickland: https://twitter.com/jjones9/status/836045579490832384

Adam Bumas: Just saw a glimpse of David Oyelowo looking fiiiiine

Galena: The Salesman wins Best Foreign Film

CJ Robinson: Respect for the director

Allen Strickland: And the best foreign film award goes to a man who is not attending in protest of Donald Trump

Adam Bumas: Oh, is he allowed in now?

Allen Strickland: The law in question has been suspended.

Adam Bumas: I wasn’t sure what the standing regulation is, thank you

CJ Robinson: Dear lord Dev Patel has changed since the last time I saw him

Galena: That was a lovely speech Farhadi sent to be read on his behalf

Kevin Kuhlman: Sting’s voice is shot

CJ Robinson: He’s showing his age

Kevin Kuhlman: Also, why is he playing his guitar like that? Nobody plays like that

CJ Robinson: Its classical style. You elevate it to help with finger picking

Kevin Kuhlman: Yeah, but usually you sit when you play like that

Kevin Kuhlman: This tour bus prank is solid

Allen Strickland: Kimmel has a bunch of unknowing tourists who are about to walk in on the ceremony.

Kevin Kuhlman: “Piper” wins Best Animated Short. For those unaware, it was the cute bird bit that played before Finding Dory

Allen Strickland: The fact that Hailee Steinfeld wasn’t nominated for Best Actress this year for The Edge of Seventeen feels wrong.

Wesley Allsup: Oh man that short is great. It’s also the only reason to watch Finding Dory which is a terrible film

Adam Bumas: I expected it to win, since it was the only one most people saw

Allen Strickland: This is where I remember that I’m one of the only people to see Edge of Seventeen.

Adam Bumas: Sorry, Allen, I had to miss it, went out of theaters like a shot

Galena: I thought it was absurd that Steinfeld’s True Grit nomination was for Best Supporting Actress, not Best Actress. She was deserving this year as well.

Allen Strickland: Best animated feature is up and I’ll be shocked if Zootopia doesn’t win.

Kevin Kuhlman: Zootopia wins Best Animated Feature.  Racism is bad y’all

CJ Robinson: Kubo was so much better

Allen Strickland: I don’t think the academy could have gone any other direction here. The months since its release have made Zootopia far too timely.

Adam Bumas: Yeah, it was in the bottom half of the nominations in terms of actual quality. Mostly for those horrible pop culture sequences. But still a very good, clever film

Wesley Allsup: Zootopia is great

Allen Strickland: “We thank everyone around the world for embracing this film about tolerance being more powerful than fear of the other”.

Allen Strickland: I will forcefully go to bat for Zootopia and it’s quality.

Allen Strickland: Production design is up and I could see this going to any of the nominees.

Kevin Kuhlman: Let’s see if La La Land finally wins

Kevin Kuhlman: And it does. Deservedly so. That final sequence is incredible from a design standpoint.

Galena: The Handmaiden was robbed of a nomination here

Allen Strickland: La La Land wins its first award almost entirely on the strength of the planetarium scene and the final montage. Two brilliantly surreal moments in a mostly understated overall design.

Adam Bumas: “Understated”? Hard disagree

Allen Strickland: It’s very naturalistic in production design outside of those two key moments.

Adam Bumas: What about the movie set sequence, the Lighthouse?

Allen Strickland: It’s what makes the moments pop.

Wesley Allsup: I dont think best should be the same as most

Kevin Kuhlman: Emma Stone’s brother, who is her “date” tonight, was the Quarterback at the community college I attended

Allen Strickland: The tourist fangirling over Denzel is a highlight of the night.

Allen Strickland: I agree Wesley, just saying that those two moments work so well because of their huge divergence from the rest of the film.

Kevin Kuhlman: This is great

Allen Strickland: Kimmel is currently introducing a group of stunned tourists to all of their favorite actors.

Kevin Kuhlman: “This is not a vagrant, he’s an academy award nominated actor” – Kimmel on Casey Affleck’s bad beard and ponytail combo

Emmett Walsh: Snap poll, which is the worst Oscar bit: NPH’s magic trick or this bulls@#t?

Adam Bumas: I didn’t see NPH’s Oscars, elaborate for me

Kevin Kuhlman: Definitely NPH,his entire shtick was bad and I like NPH

Galena: NPH without a doubt, because it dragged on and on throughout the night

Kevin Kuhlman: I liked this bit, it was cute, even if it was a bit too long

Galena: Kimmel made a bunch of tourists’ days, NPH just seemed to make Octavia Spencer uncomfortable

Emmett Walsh: I hope Casey Affleck reads mean tweets about how he assaults women.

Allen Strickland: This is a fairly moving tribute to the unifying power of art and film.

Allen Strickland: Visual Effects is up and I’m assuming this is Jungle Book but will go to bat for Doctor Strange.

Kevin Kuhlman: Let’s go Jungle Book

Kevin Kuhlman: Jungle Book wins

Adam Bumas: Yay, it’s Michael J. Fox

Allen Strickland: Seth Rogen is slaying Lin Manuel Miranda with his rendition of Look Around.

Kevin Kuhlman: Film Editing – maybe the biggest question mark of the night, I could see any of these winning

Allen Strickland: My guess on editing is La La Land. It does some pretty inventive stuff.

Kevin Kuhlman: As do Moonlight and Arrival

Kevin Kuhlman: Hacksaw wins a 2nd, wow

Allen Strickland: Hacksaw Ridge is now leading tonight’s running tally, something I did not expect to say.

Bee McGee: If this ends in Hacksaw getting BP I will know that we truly are in the age of Trump

Kevin Kuhlman: Mel Gibson looks like he’s permanently in the final 15 minutes of Mad Max

Kevin Kuhlman: He looks terrifying

Kevin Kuhlman: ADORABLE KID FROM LION.  He’s the best part

Adam Bumas: Max Landis’ Bright gets a first trailer, from the director of Oscar-winner Suicide Squad

Galena: “Sing” takes Best Live Action Short Film

Galena: Now Kimmel is baiting Trump. Daring him to tweet

Kevin Kuhlman: Cinematography up next, I’ll be shocked if La La Land doesn’t win, but Moonlight would be equally deserving

Allen Strickland: Those Kimmel tweets are real btw

Kevin Kuhlman: La La Land wins

Allen Strickland: La La Land takes a much deserved cinematography win. It is a stunningly shot film. Sandgren and Chazelle’s partnership produced some real magic.

Kevin Kuhlman: All 5 nominees had great cinematography. It was a stacked field

Bee McGee: Sandgren wins the Oscar for the first good movie he ever shot

Allen Strickland: And now we have Oscars mean tweets.

Kevin Kuhlman: That Sling Blade tweet was aces

Kevin Kuhlman: John Legend performing both La La Land songs now

Allen Strickland: I’m loving the staging on this.

Kevin Kuhlman: John Legend rules

Allen Strickland: Yep. Though I actually prefer the actors’ performances of the songs.

Kevin Kuhlman: For sure, but can’t fault them for not wanting to perform tonight

Allen Strickland: I think this performance deserves it’s own best production design Oscar.

Kevin Kuhlman: John Legend now has two of my all time favorite Oscar moments

Allen Strickland: What was the other Kevin?

Kevin Kuhlman: The performance of Glory

Andrew Clark: That was great

Allen Strickland: Samuel L Jackson is now presenting original score which feels like a definite lock for La La Land.

Kevin Kuhlman: Deserved win for Hurwitz

Allen Strickland: A much deserved win for Justin Hurwitz, the original jazz in La La Land alone is award worthy and that’s before you dig into the many wonderful songs.

Allen Strickland: Next up is best original song, which I think is going to go to “City of Stars.”

Kevin Kuhlman: Nailed it

Kevin Kuhlman: “There’s a lot of dudes that want to bone this guy Damien” — my wife’s commentary in passing

Allen Strickland: La La Land sweeps the music category. Much deserved. Lin Manuel Miranda will get his Oscar soon but it will not be this year.

Allen Strickland: That was a moving speech.

Kevin Kuhlman: He’ll get it for his work in Mary Poppins, where he’s actually fully involved from step one

Kevin Kuhlman: Ugh I’m about to break the f down for this in memoriam

Bee McGee: Mary Poppins Returns has LMM working with the composers/songwriters for Hairspray. So I’m hyped AF. Y’all know I love Hairspray

Allen Strickland: And now we have reached the most depressing in memoriam in years.

Kevin Kuhlman: You’re crying

Allen Strickland: Yes Kevin I am crying just a bit. Carrie Fisher hit me hard.

Adam Bumas: I’m very much in favor of taking the piss out of their own gimmick

Allen Strickland: The running Matt Damon bit is pretty great, Jimmy Kimmel is now playing Matt Damon off while Damon tries to present Best original screenplay is pretty amazing.

Adam Bumas: Decidedly well-deserved win for Manchester

Allen Strickland: Manchester by the Sea wins for best original screenplay, which Kevin did call on our Oscars Podcast

Kevin Kuhlman: The writer of Rocky and Bullwinkle wins Best Screenplay

Adam Bumas: To be fair, the original cartoon was dynamite in its cleverness

Kevin Kuhlman: not the cartoon

Emmett Walsh: SHOULD’VE BEEN KENNY LOGGINS!

Kevin Kuhlman: Moonlight wins best adapted screenplay. Great choice

Adam Bumas: No, I know about the terrible movie

Adam Bumas: I love Arrival, but no way it had a serious chance. Glad it doesn’t go away empty-handed

Kevin Kuhlman: So now it’s just lead actor/actresses, director, and Picture, right? I’m getting sleepy

Allen Strickland: I believe so Kevin.

Kevin Kuhlman: Cool

Galena: Since In Moonlight, Black Boys Look Blue is unpublished, I wonder if it will be ever be published, especially given this win

Kevin Kuhlman: Gonna take the dog for another walk before the big hitters

Kevin Kuhlman: My picks for the big 4: Denzel, Stone, Chazelle, *feeling cray* Moonlight. Though I’m like 99% sure I’m wrong on Picture

Galena: It’s unusual to have a Best Adapted Screenplay winner whose adapted material is unavailable

Bee McGee: Finally watched the We Bought a Zoo bit. It was amazing

Allen Strickland: Best Director is up and I’ll be stunned if this isn’t Damien Chazelle.

Kevin Kuhlman: Chazelle wins

Allen Strickland: And I called it. Chazelle absolutely deserves this award. La La Land feels like the culmination of a career, not the third movie of a 32 year old.

Adam Bumas: Up next is a movie about Neil Armstrong starring Gosling, right?

Kevin Kuhlman: Yep

Allen Strickland: Youngest directing winner ever has quite the ring to it.

Emmett Walsh: “It’s all for you Damien!”

Emmett Walsh: Honestly Adam a film about Neil Armstrong sounds terrible. And I say that as a space nut

Adam Bumas: This is Chazelle, I doubt it’s a normal biopic. Although, to be honest, a movie about Buzz Aldrin would be a lot more fun.

Emmett Walsh: Armstrong was a human robot who got the nod because a) the aforementioned robot nature and b) Gus Grissom died in apollo 1. Unless that film is called “Good Luck Mr. Gorsky” it’s a hard pass.

Allen Strickland: We’ve now arrived at Best Actor which would be the most divisive category by far if it wasn’t for best picture.

Adam Bumas: IT’S BRIE

Kevin Kuhlman: FEEL THE DENZEL. FACE THE FENCES

Adam Bumas: D-FENCE! D-FENCE! D-FENCE!

Allen Strickland: Casey Affleck wins and I’m sure all will have calm and measured reactions to this news.

Bee McGee: GAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHOULD HAVE BEEN DENZEL

Adam Bumas: Denzel’s tearing up

Adam Bumas: Gosling’s completely fine with it

Emmett Walsh: Man, just a bummer

Galena: “man, I wish I had something bigger and more meaningful to say”. Certain other performances did in my opinion.

Allen Strickland: Next up is best actress which I think will go to Emma Stone but feels really up in the air.

Adam Bumas: I think it’s down to her or Huppert

Allen Strickland: Even Meryl knows she shouldn’t have been nominated

Kevin Kuhlman: Emma wins. Definitely deserving. That role is kind of a nothingburger and Stone puts everything into it

Allen Strickland: Stone’s performance in La La Land is genuinely stunning. The amount of emotion she puts into the role is astounding. She is genuinely devastating in the role

Kevin Kuhlman: Stone earned this one for sure

Kevin Kuhlman: Uno màs

Allen Strickland: And with that we are down to the final award, the big one, best picture. Get your picks in now folks.

Allen Strickland: I’m going with La La Land

Kevin Kuhlman: Back to Affleck winning Best Actor — I haven’t seen Manchester, but I know that Affleck has long been a great actor. His performance in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is one of the great supporting performances ever. That said, the disturbing information about his sexual assault accusations isn’t something that should have been taken lightly

Kevin Kuhlman: I’m sticking with Moonlight for Best Picture just from a gut feeling, but I’ll be shocked if that happens. La La Land is almost certainly going to win

Allen Strickland: Now we find out how hot the takes are gonna be tomorrow.

Kevin Kuhlman: I still think Manchester is a dark horse here. It could win based on winning the most #2 and #3 votes given the way the voting works

Allen Strickland: I think La La Land has won too many categories to lose at this point.

Emmett Walsh: Beatty looks like he just found out he’s presenting an Oscar

Allen Strickland: La La Land wins

Kevin Kuhlman: That’s about right

Kevin Kuhlman: 7 of 14, 3 of the big 5. Not a bad haul

Bee McGee: Well, time to avoid Twitter for the next week

Allen Strickland: I’ve got no complaints here. La La Land is a true piece of cinematic magic. Full of tour du force performances and excellent craftsmanship.

Kevin Kuhlman: Wait, what the hell? Moonlight won.

Galena: What?!

Kevin Kuhlman: This is insanity

Allen Strickland: Ummm. What just happened?

Kevin Kuhlman: Moonlight won

Adam Bumas: What the f@#$ is going on

Galena: Did the presenters play a prank?

Adam Bumas: I feel that’s justified, Allen

Kevin Kuhlman: They had the wrong envelope. Wow. THIS IS THE PART WHERE I BRAG ABOUT CALLING IT

Allen Strickland: That’s an almost inexcusable mistake. You can’t hand out the wrong envelope for your biggest award.

Adam Bumas: THIS IS THE BEST

Galena: Oh dear, that’s an unfortunate mix-up

Kevin Kuhlman: Film twitter just had a stroke

Adam Bumas: THIS IS THE BEST AND OUR WORLD IS A FARCE

Kevin Kuhlman: Everyone seems to be taking it in stride, but wow you can’t mess that up

Adam Bumas: We’re being intercut in a farcical montage before we cut back to the White House

Kevin Kuhlman: At least La La Land won the popular vote #topical

Adam Bumas: I hope the movie we’re in gets some awards

Emmett Walsh: “The Aristocrats!” – Jimmy Kimmel

Kevin Kuhlman: My heart was right. Moonlight earned this award. For those who haven’t seen it: it’s currently available to rent on amazon

Allen Strickland: I don’t quite understand the logic of Moonlight not winning any of the big five besides best picture, but my understanding is that it’s a deserving film. I’ve yet to have the opportunity to see it.

Kevin Kuhlman: It won adapted screenplay

Kevin Kuhlman: Which is the same as Spotlight (original) last year

Allen Strickland: Fair point. Just weird that it lost every category that it went head to head with La La Land with but that one. Once again not knocking it, just figured it would have won at least one of those other head to head battles if it was gonna take it. I am looking forward to renting Moonlight now though. Final thoughts everyone?

Andrew Clark: What the f@#$. No but really this is cool but damn stage crew at the Kodak what the f@#$

Kevin Kuhlman: Good show all around, even if it ended on a bananas note. Glad to see Moonlight and Arrival get love and I can’t really argue against any of the winners. The least arguable Oscar’s in years. It’s the first time a big 5 category winner didn’t make my blood boil, at the very least

Emmett Walsh: It’s really a shame that Moonlight win will forever be tied to that f@#$ up

Adam Bumas: I doubt it, actually

Emmett Walsh: They won, but like everything their moment was stolen.

Adam Bumas: Memory erodes fast, mostly it’ll just be a word on a page. Everyone’s already forgotten JLaw’s dress trip

Kevin Kuhlman: I feel bad for both parties

Allen Strickland: Yeah they owe everyone an apology.

Kevin Kuhlman: The people behind La La Land had their hearts ripped out on stage and Moonlight got the shaft. It’s sad for everyone. And with that, I bid thee adieu

Allen Strickland: Yeah if I’m a studio head at either Summit or a24 I’m calling up and ripping the academy and the venue a new one. That’s humiliating to both crews.

Adam Bumas: This is going to change the proceedings forever now

Emmett Walsh: Yeah. Remember how for years people said Marisa Tomei only got her Oscar because of a f@#$ up?

Adam Bumas: Explain?

Emmett Walsh: So, Marisa Tomei won the Oscar for My Cousin Vinny, but for years people said that she only got it because Jack Palance couldn’t read the card and just said the last name he heard.

Adam Bumas: What evidence is there on that front?

Andrew Clark: The inability of people in my industry to appreciate La La Land is the most frustrating thing I have to deal with right now. It’s all young folks, too. My age or younger.

Adam Bumas: I’m sorry, Andrew

Andrew Clark: It’s okay. It’s just difficult because I’d love to bond with these people but they have almost no ability to say “Hey, more than one thing is good”

Adam Bumas: It’s one of those movies where you have to either not engage with it, or engage with it all the way, to be on board with it

Andrew Clark: Yep.

Adam Bumas: See also: Kingsmen, most Gilliams and Blacks

Andrew Clark: Mmmmmmmmhmmmmm

Adam Bumas: I maintain we’re living in an offbeat farce about a professional gambler

Andrew Clark: So an absurdist Rounders

Adam Bumas: Not really with cards, more of a bookie. I can’t tell whether the gambler keeps miraculously, improbably winning or miraculously, improbably losing, but my instinct says it’s the former. I hope it’s a quality production, this movie we’re in

Andrew Clark: Me too, buddy. Me too.

Andrew Clark: Like a Matt Reeves, at LEAST.

Emmett Walsh: none, because if Palance had actually read the wrong name, well, we saw what would happen

Andrew Clark: https://twitter.com/MNightShyamalan/status/836084032798670848

Emmett Walsh: Does this mean M. Night doesn’t go to the Oscars?

Emmett Walsh: Bummer

Adam Bumas: I doubt he’s been fit to attend for the past decade-plus

Emmett Walsh: So, does this mean Leo messed up? I mean, someone handed Beatty the Best Actress envelope

Adam Bumas: I think there were just multiple envelopes made as failsafes. …wait, oh my god, this is almost literally what happened in Bojack Horseman. That was the nominations, not the actual ceremony, but…

Emmett Walsh: Somebody’s gonna get fired

Bee McGee: You just know that someone already wrote their joke for next year where whoever gives out BP makes a big show of looking at the back of the envelope first

Andrew Clark: With all respect to the producers who handled that with aplomb, that is a real night ruiner. Not just for the losers, but for the winners

Allen Strickland: The La La Land team handled it like champs but they have every right to be furious.

Emmett Walsh: Meanwhile, in the writers room, Bruce Vilanch calmly takes off his glasses and pours himself a drink. “It is accomplished.” He takes a single sip, then stares into the middle distance.

Allen Strickland: They spent the whole night thinking it was leading to this moment but and then were told they got it to have it ripped away from them.

Allen Strickland: Well that’s a wrap folks thanks for joining in, I’m sure we’ll be discussing this for a while.

  • Andrew Clark

    Haha, I really disappeared there for a while! It was tough having the delay on my streaming.

  • Lilgreenman

    I’ve always been delinquent about diary-keeping, so I’m glad to have this moment-by-moment record of our shared thoughts here.

    I hope the gambler movie we’re in doesn’t have a dark, subversive ending.