Oh, hey! What have we here? It’s a new action movie from Rob Cohen! It’s called The Hurricane Heist. I wonder what it’s about. Let’s check the official synopsis.
Under the threat of a hurricane, opportunistic criminals infiltrate a US Mint facility to steal $600 million for the ultimate heist. When the hurricane blows up into a lethal CATEGORY 5 storm and their well-made plans go awry, they find themselves needing a vault code known only by one Treasury Agent (Maggie Grace), a need that turns murderous. But the Treasury agent has picked up an unlikely ally, a meteorologist (Toby Kebbell) terrified of hurricanes but determined to save his estranged brother kidnapped by the thieves. He uses his knowledge of the storm as a weapon to win in this non-stop action thriller ride charged with adrenaline throughout.
Ah, it’s about a heist that takes place during a hurricane. Apparently the film was originally titled Category 5, but they decided to save money and have the title pull double duty as the logline. Let’s check out the trailer.
“From the Director of The Fast and the Furious” just plain reads wrong to me. Yes, of course, Rob Cohen directed the original film, which was a pretty forgettable Point Break ripoff, but Justin Lin so thoroughly owns that franchise at this point that seeing Cohen credited makes me do a double take. A more interesting marketing tactic might be to highlight the writers. One of them has a video game called Zombies! For Xbox Fitness as one of their only writing credits and two of them are basically just known for Drop Dead Fred. I don’t mean to make fun here. It’s just such a weird combination of credits that I felt like pointing it out. I’d totally watch a crazy action movie advertised as “From the Creators of Drop Dead Fred.”
Okay, so the trailer. This looks dumb. Real dumb. It also looks like the movie might be kind of awesome in its own dunderheaded way. The CGI looks cartoony and pervasive, but there seems to be some decent practical stunt work going on as well, and the use of “Rock You Like a Hurricane” is so incredibly clumsy and on the nose that it’s endearing. If nothing else, the trailer has a good energy to it. Normally I’d find the use of a natural disaster in this kind of film pretty distasteful, but there’s so much going on in this trailer that I have to wonder if the filmmakers actually know what a hurricane is. I’m imagining Rob Cohen seeing footage of a pyroclastic flow, pointing at the screen and exclaiming, “Hurricane!” Much like Geostorm, this looks too absurd to be disturbing or offensive.
The only thing that gives me pause is my suspicion that the Alabama, gun-toting bro-iness will get old real quick. Otherwise, I’m on board. What are your thoughts?