Last night, the Lewton Bus crew sat down for a roundtable discussion during the 2017 Academy Awards. Reading this, you’ll feel like you’re really there. And by “there” I mean “sitting on your butt in front of a computer.”
Allen Strickland: Well the red carpet festivities are underway and the schmoozing is now in full force
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’m not here for good but I just want to say got dam was Taraji beautiful. I don’t know what to do with myself now
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Like, I dgaf about the awards or anything, but I care about beautiful dresses, and she was a goddess
Allen Strickland: Hey we need someone for dress commentary because I’ve got nothing there.
Allen Strickland: Justin Timberlake is a treasure
Wesley Allsup: Ruth Negga and Dakota Johnson winning dresses for me so far
Allen Strickland: That being said he has no real chance at best song tonight. Anyone disagree?
Wesley Allsup: Leslie Mann too
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Hailee Steinfeld and Ava Duvernay are also standouts
Wesley Allsup: It’s a bit mean but Janelle Monáe’s dress looks like it was made by accident
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Riz Ahmed looking cute
Wesley Allsup: yeah Ava’s was nice
Wesley Allsup: Andrew Garfield & Andre Holland look pretty slick too
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Did you all see the Moonlight trio? Heavenly
Adam Bumas: Only thing I’ve seen so far I wanna comment on is the current Schuyler Sisters performing “How Far I’ll Go”, over satellite, just for LMM
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Apparently LMM got his tux from the same place in Yonkers he got his prom outfit
Allen Strickland: Diversity seems to be the primary topic of discussion on the red carpet tonight. Rightfully so after the events of #oscarssowhite last year.
Allen Strickland: Here’s your hourly public service announcement that Emma Stone is a stunningly beautiful and talented human being
Wesley Allsup: That’s the kind of dress you wear when you think ‘hmm, I’m probably going to win the Oscar’
Allen Strickland: A tough reminder just now that we lost the incomparable Bill Paxton today.
Andrew Clark: YO FRIENDS
Andrew Clark: Little tipsy
Allen Strickland: Well this will be an adventure.
Andrew Clark: Heeheeheehee
Andrew Clark: Emma Stone for best dress
Andrew Clark: Inexplicably, because that is a very light dress for her skin tone
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Brie Larson in black velvet is a+
Andrew Clark: Haven’t seen her yet
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Viola Davis’ dress is also in-credible
Allen Strickland: Greatest tidbit from the interviews so far: Ryan Gosling’s piano proficieny only extends to the pieces from the film. As a former music student this speaks to me.
Andrew Clark: Emma. So graceful
Wesley Allsup: Ryan Gosling has an extra fancy shirt, I kinda want to buy one
Allen Strickland: Emma Stone is #americassweetheart
Andrew Clark: My friend David: “Let’s be real. Swiss Army Man wasn’t nominated for anything, so is any 2017 Oscar actually legitimate?”
Allen Strickland: An excellent question Andrew. I know I have it as my second favorite film of the year. Radcliffe’s performance is easily the best of his career.
Wesley Allsup: Not only does Brie Larson look amazing (as if she couldn’t) I’d love to know how that dress was made
Emmett Walsh: Late to the party but Emma Stone is very on brand with that Veronica Lake look.
Wesley Allsup: How do they keep the wavy look?
Adam Bumas: It’s more a work of architecture than fashion, I believe
Allen Strickland: Since Andrew brought it up I’ll poll the group. What’s your biggest snub from the nominations?
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Silence obviously, Arrival and The Handmaiden are also up there
Adam Bumas: Between Silence for BP and Amy Adams for Best Lead… Actually, I forgot about John Goodman from Cloverfield Lane, put me down for that
Allen Strickland: I think the premise carries Arrival more than the performance but a decent point
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Though Handmaiden didn’t have a chance because South Korea didn’t submit it, as they didn’t want to be represented internationally by a lesbian movie
Wesley Allsup: Amy Adams is one of the biggest snubs, Silence too
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’d also say Issei Ogata should have got a supporting role nomination and Patrick Stewart for Green Room. That’s going to be one of his all time performances, and Tadanobu Asano also deserved a nomination for Silence.
Wesley Allsup: at least 3 Japanese actors in Silence could easily deserve best supporting actor
Adam Bumas: Was Issei Ogata the Inquisitor?
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Yep
Allen Strickland: I think Silence’s problem is that practically no one saw it, It never had a matinee showing near me.
Emmett Walsh: A girl I used to work with’s aunt was Lin’s date, maybe, if her Facebook post was anything to go by
Wesley Allsup: its release was a total f@#$ up
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’d also say Rima from Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Anya Taylor-Joy for The Witch, and Gosling for The Nice Guys, I’ve got a whole parallel list
Adam Bumas: I wouldn’t mind Silence getting a Best Hair And Makeup, if only for Garfield having my literal dream hair
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Beyoncé also deserves a special oscar, for just generally best person on the planet with the most earthshaking work of art in decades.
Allen Strickland: Damien Chazelle rocking a DOPE blue tux
Emmett Walsh: Blue tuxes are always dope
Adam Bumas: I’m happy with any non-traditional menswear, tuxes are a masterpiece of engineering and simplicity, but I appreciate variety
Wesley Allsup: I dont like Mahershala Ali’s black on black tux, I’ve never understood that style
Emmett Walsh: Damian Chazelle looks like Ezra Miller cosplaying Anton Yelchin
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: One of the first signs for me that I wasn’t a man was the fact that I hated wearing all men’s fashion, men’s fashion is so often so boring
Wesley Allsup: John Legend’s Tux also looks weird, I think it’s a deliberate variation but it looks like a mistake
Allen Strickland: I love wearing suits
Adam Bumas: It’s boring if you let it be, AFR
Wesley Allsup: Dev Patel looks great
Andrew Clark: I love a good tux. I preferred Goslings’ Bogart look at the globes
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: It’s also boring if you’re a woman and people keep telling you to wear it
Adam Bumas: True. My grandmother was a fashion scholar specializing in menswear throughout history, so it’s always had a depth to me
Allen Strickland: Gotta rock the tie shirt color combos to make a suit pop
Wesley Allsup: I spend far too much time thinking about men’s fashion so it isn’t boring to me either, but it often is more subtle and conservative than women’s clothing
Wesley Allsup: unless you’re an American and you’re wearing silly hats and oversized hockey jerseys and such
Adam Bumas: And there’s so much less you’re allowed to do
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: I’ll take all yalls words on this stuff, I like the way suits look on some men, but it’s just not my scene
Allen Strickland: My go to look is navy suit, teal shirt, purple tie. It POPS.
Wesley Allsup: I haven’t worn a suit to work for months
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Looks like a predatory 70s action hero
Allen Strickland: Dwayne Johnson in blue velvet
Wesley Allsup: Charlize Theron arrived too apparently, haven’t seen her yet though. I’m guessing Evan Rachel Wood won’t be at the Oscars? Which is a shame cos she made a big statement at Golden Globes
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: Charlize is always perfect. She can’t not kill a look.
Kevin Kuhlman: A) Mel shaved his crazy colonel beard
Allen Strickland: Gibson knows that he should be in “happy to be here mode”. Seems keenly aware that he’s not a serious contender.
Kevin Kuhlman: Emma Stone looks super nervous and awkward
Allen Strickland: Her obvious excitement is adorable
Andrew Clark: Haha, so I’ve been watching E! Now to ABC
Allen Strickland: SHOW TIME FOLKS
Andrew Clark: Four minute commercial break
Kevin Kuhlman: Let’s get this over with
Andrew Clark: Hahahaha
Kevin Kuhlman: Once La La Land wins Best Picture everything good in the world immediately disappears
Arzner’s Fishing Rod: It’s here I’ll be stepping out, as post red carpet I don’t have anything to say
Kevin Kuhlman: All dogs will cease to exist
Allen Strickland: The seas will dry
Wesley Allsup: on the UK one they were talking about a post that described La La Land winning as a ‘disaster for the Academy’
Kevin Kuhlman: Wesley, there have been at least 15 of those takes just this weekend alone
Andrew Clark: I’m so over the anti-La La Land narrative, it’s facile, reductive, and stupid
Wesley Allsup: Honestly, I would be happy for Moonlight to win, but I’m kinda rooting for Damien Chazelle
Bee McGee: Hey has Denzel won best actor yet
Allen Strickland: Not yet
Bee McGee: Okay
Kevin Kuhlman: Hot Take: both Moonlight and La La Land are great films that both deserve recognition
Bee McGee: *CONTEXT: Walrus is seeing Twenty One Pilots in concert and cannot watch the Oscars tonight*
Andrew Clark: I posted a big thing about it on FB. How both are great. Someone I went to school with me dropped the old “LLL is about a white guy saving jazz and that’s racist” bit
Allen Strickland: AND JT IS OPENING THE SHOW FOLKS
Kevin Kuhlman: Awkward white people dancing in the Crowd FTW
Allen Strickland: Girl in the red can MOVE
Kevin Kuhlman: You know what I always wanted? A zoom in on Jeff Bridges during a pop music opener
Kevin Kuhlman: Janelle Monae was feeling it
Bee McGee: Janelle = GAWDESS
Wesley Allsup: ah you guys are about 7 seconds ahead of me
Wesley Allsup: damn streaming
Emmett Walsh: s@#t, I think I just found out a girl I used to work with is LMM’s cousin
Bee McGee: HOLY %*#=
Emmett Walsh: And to think she had a go at me for playing my famous cousin close to the chest…
Bee McGee: *CONTEXT: Allen made a list of no-no words and is making us obey his tyrannical wishes*
Allen Strickland: Ummm, who’s your cousin Emmett?
Kevin Kuhlman: you can’t just drop “famous cousin” and not expect a follow up
Emmett Walsh: Colin Jost
Kevin Kuhlman: Nice
Allen Strickland: Now define cousin. Do you see him at family get-togethers?
Andrew Clark: JACKIE
Andrew Clark: JACKIE CHAN
Emmett Walsh: Yes, though I’m closer with his brother. We’ve always been friendly but never emotionally close.
Bee McGee: Emmett, your SNL obsession just got put in a new light knowing your cousin is a cast member
Allen Strickland: While he may have no chance whatsoever of winning Justin Timberlake put on one hell of a show just now. Man understands showmanship.
Kevin Kuhlman: Timberlake deserved a nomination for Social Network
Bee McGee: I still need to watch that JT concert film Jonathan Demme directed
Emmett Walsh: But yeah, f@#$ing unreal that I worked with LMM’s cousin
Bee McGee: Emmett
Bee McGee: You just said one of Allen’s no-no words
Kevin Kuhlman: MATT DAMON v KIMMEL. YES. THIS IS WHAT I’M WATCHING FOR
Emmett Walsh: Unreal?
Bee McGee: You know that this means the Winterman won’t be visiting your Chrimbus Bush this year
Adam Bumas: What’s he been in this year besides THE BOURNE TRAVESTY?
Bee McGee: THE GREAT WALL
Bee McGee: I think he’s just there for the Kimmel thing
Kevin Kuhlman: Kimmel is crushing this monologue
Bee McGee: How does he compare to Chris Rock last year?
Allen Strickland: Kimmel is already coming out with one of what are sure to be many shots across the bough of the Trump Presidency
Kevin Kuhlman: I didn’t watch much last year
Bee McGee: Rock did a pretty solid opening monologue about racism last year
Kevin Kuhlman: Hahahha
Bee McGee: Glad to see that Kimmel’s doing alright
Kevin Kuhlman: He just made a hand job joke
Kevin Kuhlman: That literally nobody laughed at because they didn’t see Moonlight
Adam Bumas: I laughed at it
Kevin Kuhlman: I did too
Adam Bumas: My friend did a classic gasp take
Emmett Walsh: Man, poor Bruce Vilanch, locked up in that closet
Kevin Kuhlman: I would have spit my drink out if I had been drinking
Emmett Walsh: Someone’s going to have to let him out
Andrew Clark: CHRIS EVANS? NEXT TO SCARJO
Allen Strickland: Fun fact about Jimmy Kimmel, he got his start as a regular caller on an LA morning talk show.
Kevin Kuhlman: Jimmy Kimmel went to ASU. REPRESENT
Bee McGee: I know that Kimmel was on Win Ben Stein’s Money back in the day
Adam Bumas: Wow, look at Halle Berry
Adam Bumas: Is that Frank Langella in the back? I think Frank Langella was first for the Standing O
Bee McGee: Maybe he’s trying to get a late Oscar for Masters of the Universe
Allen Strickland: Kimmel came out firing and brought his A material for that monologue. Topical, surgical, and hilarious.
Adam Bumas: Agreed, he’s meaner than normal
Kevin Kuhlman: Kimmel is an underrated late night host
Kevin Kuhlman: Last year I quit watching after this award, because STALLONE DESERVED IT
Andrew Clark: MICHAEL SHANNON HAIL MARY
Allen Strickland: So Maharshalla Ali is obviously the front runner, anyone have another performance they’re crazy about for supporting actor?
Bee McGee: Nah
Wesley Allsup: hahaha same Kevin. I was so upset about Sly not winning
Kevin Kuhlman: Dev Patel wouldn’t be a bad pick
Bee McGee: It’s gotta be Mahershala
Kevin Kuhlman: But it’s gonna be Mahershala
Bee McGee: If it doesn’t there will be rioting
Adam Bumas: I’m not unhappy with any of these performances, but I’d be shocked if it wasn’t Ali
Kevin Kuhlman: MAHERSHALA
Adam Bumas: Theeeere we go
Allen Strickland: Mahershala Ali wins as expected. Thoughts on his performance?
Bee McGee: Now all we need is for Viola and Denzel to win
Kevin Kuhlman: Mahershala is only in Moonlight for about 20 minutes, but his presence lingers throughout the whole film. It’s a stunning performance
Andrew Clark: Yo, the Oscars ALWAYS play Hairspray, It always makes me laugh
Andrew Clark: Ali’s work in Moonlight is great. A well deserved win.
Allen Strickland: Kimmel is going all in on the topical jokes tonight. Just told CNN and the New York Times that fake news isn’t welcome.
Allen Strickland: OK guys it’s time for the category that nominated Suicide Squad, best makeup!
Kevin Kuhlman: SUICIDE SQUAD WINS
Allen Strickland: HOLY CRAP
Kevin Kuhlman: wow
Adam Bumas: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
Bee McGee: OSCAR WINNING SUICIDE SQUAD
Kevin Kuhlman: BEYOND WAS ROBBED
Bee McGee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kevin Kuhlman: The guy who wrote “Damaged” on Jared Leto’s head won an Oscar
Wesley Allsup: Hahahaha
Andrew Clark: Oh my god
Adam Bumas: The Academy cut us all down in one stroke just like mowin’ the lawn!
Andrew Clark: “ACADEMY AWARD WINNER SUICIDE SQUAD”
Galena: The shame! 😂
Allen Strickland: For those reading this after the fact hopefully we’ll regather our thoughts soon.
Andrew Clark: This is hilarious
Allen Strickland: Kate McKinnon is killing it as a presenter tonight.
Allen Strickland: Okay, Costume design, this has gotta be Jackie right?
Andrew Clark: JACKIE Chan?
Kevin Kuhlman: Fantastic Beasts
Kevin Kuhlman: Wow
Adam Bumas: Wow, Beastastic pulled it off!
Kevin Kuhlman: Two baffling upsets
Andrew Clark: No, never FB
Adam Bumas: Not too baffling, the costumes were exquisite whatever you think of the movie
Allen Strickland: This feels like the Academy trying to be hip and relevant, anyone else think so?
Andrew Clark: FB has actively boring costumes
Adam Bumas: Even Colin Farrell’s terrible terrible character was dressed excellently
Andrew Clark: The costumes WORK at being boring
Adam Bumas: I gotta disagree there, Andrew
Andrew Clark: Did you see those clips just now? Everything looks the same
Adam Bumas: Which movie did you watch? There was a lot going on sartorially
Allen Strickland: Best Supporting actress is coming up soon, what’s everyone’s take on this? Gotta be Viola Davis right?
Bee McGee: Totally Davis
Adam Bumas: Well I’m not sure about anything anymore
Kevin Kuhlman: I found everything about Fantastic Beasts to be bland, uninteresting, and mediocre, so that’s just me
Kevin Kuhlman: Viola is a lock
Adam Bumas: Did people just see pictures of Suicide Squad?
Galena: It’ll probably go to Davis, but if not I hope Naomie Harris gets it
Andrew Clark: So my streaming is ten seconds behind or something so I will be in and out so I’m not spoiled
Wesley Allsup: same as above, but more like 30 seconds
Kevin Kuhlman: Viola got robbed a few years ago, so she’s in line to win this year. The one thing the Oscars are usually good at is rewarding an actor/actress in hindsight
Galena: I’m about 30 seconds to a minute behind some of you
Adam Bumas: Serviceable Ben Carson joke
Wesley Allsup: Its Jimmy Kimmel, he’s nothing special
Allen Strickland: Best Documentary Feature is up and we’re about to see the culmination of “The Year We Came Back Around To The OJ Story”
Adam Bumas: I liked his early stuff
Kevin Kuhlman: I wanna give a standing ovation from my couch right now
Allen Strickland: Katherine Johnson the basis of the film Hidden Figures is now on stage to help present Best documentary feature
CJ Robinson: What did I miss
Allen Strickland: Academy Award Winning Film Suicide Squad
Kevin Kuhlman: O.J.: Made in America wins
Allen Strickland: And with that victory ESPN now has secured its first Oscar. This also marks the first time ESPN has ever been thanked on stage at the Oscars. Ezra Edelman dedicated his victory to Nicole Brown Simpson as well as victims of police brutality.
Allen Strickland: Kimmel just made an OJ Simpson joke that made even Mel Gibson cringe.
Emmett Walsh: Man, mediocre applause for “police brutality is bad!”
Kevin Kuhlman: Dwayne Johnson intro-ing “How Far I’ll Go”
CJ Robinson: Suicide Squad won?……..
Allen Strickland: With a prologue by Lin Manuel Miranda
Kevin Kuhlman: Lin Manuel Miranda rapping the prologue
Adam Bumas: Yep, clever device, knew he would make it in somehow. I think the song has a fair chance at winning
Kevin Kuhlman: If the two La La Land songs split the vote, it could definitely win
Kevin Kuhlman: Auli’i Cravahlo is killing this song right now
Allen Strickland: The EGOT narrative could very well push it over the top but I don’t think it’s quite as good as the La La Land nominees.
Adam Bumas: That obviously doesn’t matter
Wesley Allsup: Moana is a better musical than La La Land #shotsfired
Kevin Kuhlman: She’s only 16. This is an insane amount of gravitas for someone who can barely legally drive
Allen Strickland: Auli’i Cravahlo owned that performance.
Allen Strickland: Wesley I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong you are on that point.
Wesley Allsup: yeah I know, theres just no good argument against it
Kevin Kuhlman: That’s a bad take and you should feel bad
Allen Strickland: While I very much enjoyed Moana it isn’t even the composer’s best musical to come out this year. Let alone the best musical this year. Now if we wanna talk Hamilton vs La La Land, that could be a fun conversation.
Wesley Allsup: History will prove me right
Emmett Walsh: Yeah Moana is very good, but the songs are B/B+ at best
Wesley Allsup: Huh? Hamilton is one of the best pieces of art made in like a decade
Allen Strickland: I agree.
Andrew Clark: Haha, okay, let’s rate these Walmart commercials
Andrew Clark: Poor effort from Fuqua, I say
Allen Strickland: I think La La Land is fairly transcendent as well though. I think each push their respective form to it’s limits.
Wesley Allsup: La La Land doesn’t compare to Hamilton
Wesley Allsup: basically nothing does
Kevin Kuhlman: Hamilton > La La Land. It’s not even a close question
Wesley Allsup: yeah no kidding
Kevin Kuhlman: And I’m on the La La Land should win Best Picture train
Andrew Clark: “They are not Stallone girls” :joy:
Wesley Allsup: Yep me too
Allen Strickland: I’m not saying La La Land is better. Just that La La Land vs Hamilton is a more interesting conversation than La La Land versus Moana.
Galena: “A president who believes in both arts and sciences”
Emmett Walsh: Individually, Moana’s songs are good but they’re not LMM’s best, and they don’t add up to anything in the film
Emmett Walsh: The lack of a powerhouse finale is really telling
Wesley Allsup: Honestly the entire tragic romance of La La Land is captured in like, 2 songs in Hamilton, and there’s everything else on top
Emmett Walsh: How they don’t combine “How Far I’ll Go”, “Where You Are”, and the voyaging theme is bananas.
Adam Bumas: What else do you call “I Am Moana”, man?
Allen Strickland: Beautiful speech by Cheryl Bond Isaac’s
Adam Bumas: I saw Javier Bardem there for a second, glad to see him out and about
Emmett Walsh: “I Am Moana” is good, but ending the film on a reprise of a song we’ve already heard is borderline catastrophic.
Kevin Kuhlman: Sound Editing and Mixing. Let’s see if the La La Land sweep begins here
Allen Strickland: Chris Evans is taking the stage to present the sound awards and once again make me feel generally inadequate as a man.
Kevin Kuhlman: ARRIVAL FTW WOOP WOOP
Wesley Allsup: If it’s any consolation Allen, you’re probably both about as good as each other at directing though
Galena: It’s great to see Arrival acknowledged
Allen Strickland: Arrival was not at the top of my list for Sound Editing so this was a bit of a surprise. I had Hacksaw Ridge here.
Adam Bumas: Yeah, I assumed that was gonna get it
Allen Strickland: Hacksaw is also my pick for mixing
Wesley Allsup: eh, I’m happy for Hacksaw to leave with nothing
Kevin Kuhlman: And you would be right
Kevin Kuhlman: Hacksaw wins Sound Mixing
Allen Strickland: A well deserved win for Hacksaw Ridge. Brilliant use of sound. So far the La La Land wave hasn’t happened. Will be interesting to watch the rest of the way. To be clear I didn’t have them winning any of these awards so far but it isn’t getting the sweep some expected.
Kevin Kuhlman: Yeah, it wasn’t the favorite in any of the categories thus far, so I’m not shocked it hasn’t happened yet
Emmett Walsh: It didn’t have the momentum that mega sweeps like Titanic and ROTK had
Kevin Kuhlman: It also didn’t have the benefit of a weak year like Titanic and ROTK had
Wesley Allsup: https://twitter.com/WomenaHollywood/status/836020544868876288
The lack of representation for women still holds true in 2017. #OscarsSoMale #Oscars pic.twitter.com/EUDBvBMLux
— Women and Hollywood (@WomenaHollywood) February 27, 2017
Kevin Kuhlman: I wonder what the percentage of that is white women v PoC women
Wesley Allsup: Hate to imagine
Allen Strickland: Vince Vaughn is on the stage discussing lifetime achievement awards and looks super uncomfortable.
Adam Bumas: This is really badly delivered schtick from Vince
Allen Strickland: Next up is best supporting actress. Worth noting that three of tonight’s five nominees are women of color. Whether it’s a reaction to last year or not, the diversity of tonight’s nominees absolutely matters.
Kevin Kuhlman: intro’d by Mark Rylance and his weird hat
Wesley Allsup: AKA the man who stole the Oscar from Sly
Emmett Walsh: Hard pass on that hat, and on Mark Rylance in general
Wesley Allsup: good chat by Rylance though
Adam Bumas: Come on, Weez, Sly shoulda won but Rylance was amazing in Bridge of Spies, The two things can be true
Wesley Allsup: He was great in Bridge of Spies and he seems like a great guy but he’s also the monster who stole the Oscar from Sly
Emmett Walsh: He was fine in Bridge of Spies
Emmett Walsh: He’s a great internal actor who goes internal 100% of the time
Allen Strickland: Not a great clip to introduce Michelle Williams
Kevin Kuhlman: Michelle Williams was snubbed for CERTAIN WOMEN
Adam Bumas: What else can they use?
Kevin Kuhlman: Viola wins
Allen Strickland: Viola Davis wins #asexpected. She’s had a pretty fantastic run over the last few years.
Kevin Kuhlman: Also, that clip from Lion for Kidman was during a scene where our protagonist accuses his adoptive mother of only wanting him because she’s barren, which is f-d up to a supreme degree
Allen Strickland: Viola Davis has everyone crying with this speech.
CJ Robinson: Which movie was this for? I missed it
Kevin Kuhlman: Fences
Allen Strickland: She just oozes gravitas.
Kevin Kuhlman: Ain’t nobody playing her off
Allen Strickland: I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING
CJ Robinson: I’m starting to tear up a little, not gonna lie
Adam Bumas: What a speech
Kevin Kuhlman: She’s sitting next to Emma Stone! CONSPIRACY EMMA IS GOING TO WIN
CJ Robinson: Can we give her an Oscar for best speech?
Kevin Kuhlman: Also, is anything less exciting than “a performance by Sting” in 2017
Wesley Allsup: Bojack got a Golden Globe for best book
Allen Strickland: https://twitter.com/jjones9/status/836045579490832384
Whew Viola opened up that speech taking all of us to church
— Jonathan Jones (@jjones9) February 27, 2017
Adam Bumas: Just saw a glimpse of David Oyelowo looking fiiiiine
Galena: The Salesman wins Best Foreign Film
CJ Robinson: Respect for the director
Allen Strickland: And the best foreign film award goes to a man who is not attending in protest of Donald Trump
Adam Bumas: Oh, is he allowed in now?
Allen Strickland: The law in question has been suspended.
Adam Bumas: I wasn’t sure what the standing regulation is, thank you
CJ Robinson: Dear lord Dev Patel has changed since the last time I saw him
Galena: That was a lovely speech Farhadi sent to be read on his behalf
Kevin Kuhlman: Sting’s voice is shot
CJ Robinson: He’s showing his age
Kevin Kuhlman: Also, why is he playing his guitar like that? Nobody plays like that
CJ Robinson: Its classical style. You elevate it to help with finger picking
Kevin Kuhlman: Yeah, but usually you sit when you play like that
Kevin Kuhlman: This tour bus prank is solid
Allen Strickland: Kimmel has a bunch of unknowing tourists who are about to walk in on the ceremony.
Kevin Kuhlman: “Piper” wins Best Animated Short. For those unaware, it was the cute bird bit that played before Finding Dory
Allen Strickland: The fact that Hailee Steinfeld wasn’t nominated for Best Actress this year for The Edge of Seventeen feels wrong.
Wesley Allsup: Oh man that short is great. It’s also the only reason to watch Finding Dory which is a terrible film
Adam Bumas: I expected it to win, since it was the only one most people saw
Allen Strickland: This is where I remember that I’m one of the only people to see Edge of Seventeen.
Adam Bumas: Sorry, Allen, I had to miss it, went out of theaters like a shot
Galena: I thought it was absurd that Steinfeld’s True Grit nomination was for Best Supporting Actress, not Best Actress. She was deserving this year as well.
Allen Strickland: Best animated feature is up and I’ll be shocked if Zootopia doesn’t win.
Kevin Kuhlman: Zootopia wins Best Animated Feature. Racism is bad y’all
CJ Robinson: Kubo was so much better
Allen Strickland: I don’t think the academy could have gone any other direction here. The months since its release have made Zootopia far too timely.
Adam Bumas: Yeah, it was in the bottom half of the nominations in terms of actual quality. Mostly for those horrible pop culture sequences. But still a very good, clever film
Wesley Allsup: Zootopia is great
Allen Strickland: “We thank everyone around the world for embracing this film about tolerance being more powerful than fear of the other”.
Allen Strickland: I will forcefully go to bat for Zootopia and it’s quality.
Allen Strickland: Production design is up and I could see this going to any of the nominees.
Kevin Kuhlman: Let’s see if La La Land finally wins
Kevin Kuhlman: And it does. Deservedly so. That final sequence is incredible from a design standpoint.
Galena: The Handmaiden was robbed of a nomination here
Allen Strickland: La La Land wins its first award almost entirely on the strength of the planetarium scene and the final montage. Two brilliantly surreal moments in a mostly understated overall design.
Adam Bumas: “Understated”? Hard disagree
Allen Strickland: It’s very naturalistic in production design outside of those two key moments.
Adam Bumas: What about the movie set sequence, the Lighthouse?
Allen Strickland: It’s what makes the moments pop.
Wesley Allsup: I dont think best should be the same as most
Kevin Kuhlman: Emma Stone’s brother, who is her “date” tonight, was the Quarterback at the community college I attended
Allen Strickland: The tourist fangirling over Denzel is a highlight of the night.
Allen Strickland: I agree Wesley, just saying that those two moments work so well because of their huge divergence from the rest of the film.
Kevin Kuhlman: This is great
Allen Strickland: Kimmel is currently introducing a group of stunned tourists to all of their favorite actors.
Kevin Kuhlman: “This is not a vagrant, he’s an academy award nominated actor” – Kimmel on Casey Affleck’s bad beard and ponytail combo
Emmett Walsh: Snap poll, which is the worst Oscar bit: NPH’s magic trick or this bulls@#t?
Adam Bumas: I didn’t see NPH’s Oscars, elaborate for me
Kevin Kuhlman: Definitely NPH,his entire shtick was bad and I like NPH
Galena: NPH without a doubt, because it dragged on and on throughout the night
Kevin Kuhlman: I liked this bit, it was cute, even if it was a bit too long
Galena: Kimmel made a bunch of tourists’ days, NPH just seemed to make Octavia Spencer uncomfortable
Emmett Walsh: I hope Casey Affleck reads mean tweets about how he assaults women.
Allen Strickland: This is a fairly moving tribute to the unifying power of art and film.
Allen Strickland: Visual Effects is up and I’m assuming this is Jungle Book but will go to bat for Doctor Strange.
Kevin Kuhlman: Let’s go Jungle Book
Kevin Kuhlman: Jungle Book wins
Adam Bumas: Yay, it’s Michael J. Fox
Allen Strickland: Seth Rogen is slaying Lin Manuel Miranda with his rendition of Look Around.
Kevin Kuhlman: Film Editing – maybe the biggest question mark of the night, I could see any of these winning
Allen Strickland: My guess on editing is La La Land. It does some pretty inventive stuff.
Kevin Kuhlman: As do Moonlight and Arrival
Kevin Kuhlman: Hacksaw wins a 2nd, wow
Allen Strickland: Hacksaw Ridge is now leading tonight’s running tally, something I did not expect to say.
Bee McGee: If this ends in Hacksaw getting BP I will know that we truly are in the age of Trump
Kevin Kuhlman: Mel Gibson looks like he’s permanently in the final 15 minutes of Mad Max
Kevin Kuhlman: He looks terrifying
Kevin Kuhlman: ADORABLE KID FROM LION. He’s the best part
Adam Bumas: Max Landis’ Bright gets a first trailer, from the director of Oscar-winner Suicide Squad
Galena: “Sing” takes Best Live Action Short Film
Galena: Now Kimmel is baiting Trump. Daring him to tweet
Kevin Kuhlman: Cinematography up next, I’ll be shocked if La La Land doesn’t win, but Moonlight would be equally deserving
Allen Strickland: Those Kimmel tweets are real btw
Hey @realDonaldTrump u up?
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) February 27, 2017
Kevin Kuhlman: La La Land wins
Allen Strickland: La La Land takes a much deserved cinematography win. It is a stunningly shot film. Sandgren and Chazelle’s partnership produced some real magic.
Kevin Kuhlman: All 5 nominees had great cinematography. It was a stacked field
Bee McGee: Sandgren wins the Oscar for the first good movie he ever shot
Allen Strickland: And now we have Oscars mean tweets.
Kevin Kuhlman: That Sling Blade tweet was aces
Kevin Kuhlman: John Legend performing both La La Land songs now
Allen Strickland: I’m loving the staging on this.
Kevin Kuhlman: John Legend rules
Allen Strickland: Yep. Though I actually prefer the actors’ performances of the songs.
Kevin Kuhlman: For sure, but can’t fault them for not wanting to perform tonight
Allen Strickland: I think this performance deserves it’s own best production design Oscar.
Kevin Kuhlman: John Legend now has two of my all time favorite Oscar moments
Allen Strickland: What was the other Kevin?
Kevin Kuhlman: The performance of Glory
Andrew Clark: That was great
Allen Strickland: Samuel L Jackson is now presenting original score which feels like a definite lock for La La Land.
Kevin Kuhlman: Deserved win for Hurwitz
Allen Strickland: A much deserved win for Justin Hurwitz, the original jazz in La La Land alone is award worthy and that’s before you dig into the many wonderful songs.
Allen Strickland: Next up is best original song, which I think is going to go to “City of Stars.”
Kevin Kuhlman: Nailed it
Kevin Kuhlman: “There’s a lot of dudes that want to bone this guy Damien” — my wife’s commentary in passing
Allen Strickland: La La Land sweeps the music category. Much deserved. Lin Manuel Miranda will get his Oscar soon but it will not be this year.
Allen Strickland: That was a moving speech.
Kevin Kuhlman: He’ll get it for his work in Mary Poppins, where he’s actually fully involved from step one
Kevin Kuhlman: Ugh I’m about to break the f down for this in memoriam
Bee McGee: Mary Poppins Returns has LMM working with the composers/songwriters for Hairspray. So I’m hyped AF. Y’all know I love Hairspray
Allen Strickland: And now we have reached the most depressing in memoriam in years.
Kevin Kuhlman: You’re crying
Allen Strickland: Yes Kevin I am crying just a bit. Carrie Fisher hit me hard.
Adam Bumas: I’m very much in favor of taking the piss out of their own gimmick
Allen Strickland: The running Matt Damon bit is pretty great, Jimmy Kimmel is now playing Matt Damon off while Damon tries to present Best original screenplay is pretty amazing.
Adam Bumas: Decidedly well-deserved win for Manchester
Allen Strickland: Manchester by the Sea wins for best original screenplay, which Kevin did call on our Oscars Podcast
Kevin Kuhlman: The writer of Rocky and Bullwinkle wins Best Screenplay
Adam Bumas: To be fair, the original cartoon was dynamite in its cleverness
Kevin Kuhlman: not the cartoon
Emmett Walsh: SHOULD’VE BEEN KENNY LOGGINS!
Kevin Kuhlman: Moonlight wins best adapted screenplay. Great choice
Adam Bumas: No, I know about the terrible movie
Adam Bumas: I love Arrival, but no way it had a serious chance. Glad it doesn’t go away empty-handed
Kevin Kuhlman: So now it’s just lead actor/actresses, director, and Picture, right? I’m getting sleepy
Allen Strickland: I believe so Kevin.
Kevin Kuhlman: Cool
Galena: Since In Moonlight, Black Boys Look Blue is unpublished, I wonder if it will be ever be published, especially given this win
Kevin Kuhlman: Gonna take the dog for another walk before the big hitters
Kevin Kuhlman: My picks for the big 4: Denzel, Stone, Chazelle, *feeling cray* Moonlight. Though I’m like 99% sure I’m wrong on Picture
Galena: It’s unusual to have a Best Adapted Screenplay winner whose adapted material is unavailable
Bee McGee: Finally watched the We Bought a Zoo bit. It was amazing
Allen Strickland: Best Director is up and I’ll be stunned if this isn’t Damien Chazelle.
Kevin Kuhlman: Chazelle wins
Allen Strickland: And I called it. Chazelle absolutely deserves this award. La La Land feels like the culmination of a career, not the third movie of a 32 year old.
Adam Bumas: Up next is a movie about Neil Armstrong starring Gosling, right?
Kevin Kuhlman: Yep
Allen Strickland: Youngest directing winner ever has quite the ring to it.
Emmett Walsh: “It’s all for you Damien!”
Emmett Walsh: Honestly Adam a film about Neil Armstrong sounds terrible. And I say that as a space nut
Adam Bumas: This is Chazelle, I doubt it’s a normal biopic. Although, to be honest, a movie about Buzz Aldrin would be a lot more fun.
Emmett Walsh: Armstrong was a human robot who got the nod because a) the aforementioned robot nature and b) Gus Grissom died in apollo 1. Unless that film is called “Good Luck Mr. Gorsky” it’s a hard pass.
Allen Strickland: We’ve now arrived at Best Actor which would be the most divisive category by far if it wasn’t for best picture.
Adam Bumas: IT’S BRIE
Kevin Kuhlman: FEEL THE DENZEL. FACE THE FENCES
Adam Bumas: D-FENCE! D-FENCE! D-FENCE!
Allen Strickland: Casey Affleck wins and I’m sure all will have calm and measured reactions to this news.
Bee McGee: GAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHOULD HAVE BEEN DENZEL
Adam Bumas: Denzel’s tearing up
Adam Bumas: Gosling’s completely fine with it
Emmett Walsh: Man, just a bummer
Galena: “man, I wish I had something bigger and more meaningful to say”. Certain other performances did in my opinion.
Allen Strickland: Next up is best actress which I think will go to Emma Stone but feels really up in the air.
Adam Bumas: I think it’s down to her or Huppert
Allen Strickland: Even Meryl knows she shouldn’t have been nominated
Kevin Kuhlman: Emma wins. Definitely deserving. That role is kind of a nothingburger and Stone puts everything into it
Allen Strickland: Stone’s performance in La La Land is genuinely stunning. The amount of emotion she puts into the role is astounding. She is genuinely devastating in the role
Kevin Kuhlman: Stone earned this one for sure
Kevin Kuhlman: Uno màs
Allen Strickland: And with that we are down to the final award, the big one, best picture. Get your picks in now folks.
Allen Strickland: I’m going with La La Land
Kevin Kuhlman: Back to Affleck winning Best Actor — I haven’t seen Manchester, but I know that Affleck has long been a great actor. His performance in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is one of the great supporting performances ever. That said, the disturbing information about his sexual assault accusations isn’t something that should have been taken lightly
Kevin Kuhlman: I’m sticking with Moonlight for Best Picture just from a gut feeling, but I’ll be shocked if that happens. La La Land is almost certainly going to win
Allen Strickland: Now we find out how hot the takes are gonna be tomorrow.
Kevin Kuhlman: I still think Manchester is a dark horse here. It could win based on winning the most #2 and #3 votes given the way the voting works
Allen Strickland: I think La La Land has won too many categories to lose at this point.
Emmett Walsh: Beatty looks like he just found out he’s presenting an Oscar
Allen Strickland: La La Land wins
Kevin Kuhlman: That’s about right
Kevin Kuhlman: 7 of 14, 3 of the big 5. Not a bad haul
Bee McGee: Well, time to avoid Twitter for the next week
Allen Strickland: I’ve got no complaints here. La La Land is a true piece of cinematic magic. Full of tour du force performances and excellent craftsmanship.
Kevin Kuhlman: Wait, what the hell? Moonlight won.
Galena: What?!
Kevin Kuhlman: This is insanity
Allen Strickland: Ummm. What just happened?
Kevin Kuhlman: Moonlight won
Adam Bumas: What the f@#$ is going on
Galena: Did the presenters play a prank?
Adam Bumas: I feel that’s justified, Allen
Kevin Kuhlman: They had the wrong envelope. Wow. THIS IS THE PART WHERE I BRAG ABOUT CALLING IT
Allen Strickland: That’s an almost inexcusable mistake. You can’t hand out the wrong envelope for your biggest award.
Adam Bumas: THIS IS THE BEST
Galena: Oh dear, that’s an unfortunate mix-up
Kevin Kuhlman: Film twitter just had a stroke
Adam Bumas: THIS IS THE BEST AND OUR WORLD IS A FARCE
Kevin Kuhlman: Everyone seems to be taking it in stride, but wow you can’t mess that up
Adam Bumas: We’re being intercut in a farcical montage before we cut back to the White House
Kevin Kuhlman: At least La La Land won the popular vote #topical
Adam Bumas: I hope the movie we’re in gets some awards
Emmett Walsh: “The Aristocrats!” – Jimmy Kimmel
Kevin Kuhlman: My heart was right. Moonlight earned this award. For those who haven’t seen it: it’s currently available to rent on amazon
Allen Strickland: I don’t quite understand the logic of Moonlight not winning any of the big five besides best picture, but my understanding is that it’s a deserving film. I’ve yet to have the opportunity to see it.
Kevin Kuhlman: It won adapted screenplay
Kevin Kuhlman: Which is the same as Spotlight (original) last year
Allen Strickland: Fair point. Just weird that it lost every category that it went head to head with La La Land with but that one. Once again not knocking it, just figured it would have won at least one of those other head to head battles if it was gonna take it. I am looking forward to renting Moonlight now though. Final thoughts everyone?
Andrew Clark: What the f@#$. No but really this is cool but damn stage crew at the Kodak what the f@#$
Kevin Kuhlman: Good show all around, even if it ended on a bananas note. Glad to see Moonlight and Arrival get love and I can’t really argue against any of the winners. The least arguable Oscar’s in years. It’s the first time a big 5 category winner didn’t make my blood boil, at the very least
Emmett Walsh: It’s really a shame that Moonlight win will forever be tied to that f@#$ up
Adam Bumas: I doubt it, actually
Emmett Walsh: They won, but like everything their moment was stolen.
Adam Bumas: Memory erodes fast, mostly it’ll just be a word on a page. Everyone’s already forgotten JLaw’s dress trip
Kevin Kuhlman: I feel bad for both parties
Allen Strickland: Yeah they owe everyone an apology.
Kevin Kuhlman: The people behind La La Land had their hearts ripped out on stage and Moonlight got the shaft. It’s sad for everyone. And with that, I bid thee adieu
Allen Strickland: Yeah if I’m a studio head at either Summit or a24 I’m calling up and ripping the academy and the venue a new one. That’s humiliating to both crews.
Adam Bumas: This is going to change the proceedings forever now
Emmett Walsh: Yeah. Remember how for years people said Marisa Tomei only got her Oscar because of a f@#$ up?
Adam Bumas: Explain?
Emmett Walsh: So, Marisa Tomei won the Oscar for My Cousin Vinny, but for years people said that she only got it because Jack Palance couldn’t read the card and just said the last name he heard.
Adam Bumas: What evidence is there on that front?
Andrew Clark: The inability of people in my industry to appreciate La La Land is the most frustrating thing I have to deal with right now. It’s all young folks, too. My age or younger.
Adam Bumas: I’m sorry, Andrew
Andrew Clark: It’s okay. It’s just difficult because I’d love to bond with these people but they have almost no ability to say “Hey, more than one thing is good”
Adam Bumas: It’s one of those movies where you have to either not engage with it, or engage with it all the way, to be on board with it
Andrew Clark: Yep.
Adam Bumas: See also: Kingsmen, most Gilliams and Blacks
Andrew Clark: Mmmmmmmmhmmmmm
Adam Bumas: I maintain we’re living in an offbeat farce about a professional gambler
Andrew Clark: So an absurdist Rounders
Adam Bumas: Not really with cards, more of a bookie. I can’t tell whether the gambler keeps miraculously, improbably winning or miraculously, improbably losing, but my instinct says it’s the former. I hope it’s a quality production, this movie we’re in
Andrew Clark: Me too, buddy. Me too.
Andrew Clark: Like a Matt Reeves, at LEAST.
Emmett Walsh: none, because if Palance had actually read the wrong name, well, we saw what would happen
Andrew Clark: https://twitter.com/MNightShyamalan/status/836084032798670848
I wrote the ending of the academy awards 2017. @jimmykimmel we really got them!
— M. Night Shyamalan (@MNightShyamalan) February 27, 2017
Emmett Walsh: Does this mean M. Night doesn’t go to the Oscars?
Emmett Walsh: Bummer
Adam Bumas: I doubt he’s been fit to attend for the past decade-plus
Emmett Walsh: So, does this mean Leo messed up? I mean, someone handed Beatty the Best Actress envelope
Adam Bumas: I think there were just multiple envelopes made as failsafes. …wait, oh my god, this is almost literally what happened in Bojack Horseman. That was the nominations, not the actual ceremony, but…
Emmett Walsh: Somebody’s gonna get fired
Bee McGee: You just know that someone already wrote their joke for next year where whoever gives out BP makes a big show of looking at the back of the envelope first
Andrew Clark: With all respect to the producers who handled that with aplomb, that is a real night ruiner. Not just for the losers, but for the winners
Allen Strickland: The La La Land team handled it like champs but they have every right to be furious.
Emmett Walsh: Meanwhile, in the writers room, Bruce Vilanch calmly takes off his glasses and pours himself a drink. “It is accomplished.” He takes a single sip, then stares into the middle distance.
Allen Strickland: They spent the whole night thinking it was leading to this moment but and then were told they got it to have it ripped away from them.
Allen Strickland: Well that’s a wrap folks thanks for joining in, I’m sure we’ll be discussing this for a while.